Joseph Is Home

I was short on time today so I went through some old entries in my journal and found this one about when one of my kids were born:

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Joseph Is Home

It’s been seven days since my last entry and so much has happened. My life has changed so completely it’s hard to even imagine what it would be like without my kids, even after only this short a period of time.

The first time I held one of my babies, it was Rose Marie, and looked upon her face, I heard myself say, “How can anyone doubt the existence of God.”

Then I realized what I’d just said and thought to myself, “Did that just come out of me?”

Things have changed.

One of my kids is home already, Joseph, and is doing very well. He’s a little piggy as far as the food goes, he can’t get enough. Rose and Michael are still in the hospital, they have minor premie problems that just need time to correct. They are saying that Rose will probably be released on Sunday.

My wife and I have been getting our routine down for taking care of babies. It’s a lot of work, just like every one said, and yes I’m very tired.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I have the night shift and am enjoying every minute of it. I have Joseph all to myself. So far my favorite part of it is when he’s changed and feed. I sit down in an over stuffed chair, with a Boppie, (large doughnut shaped pillow) around my waist, wedge all sorts of other pillows around me so that I won’t move, and let Joseph snuggle up to me to sleep until next feeding. He hears my heartbeat and drifts off to sleep. An overwhelming feeling of unconditional, trusting love and warmth washes me clean of anything negative or bad I might have been feeling.

I can’t describe it adequately, no words can do it justice and thinking about it right now gives me goose bumps. It’s a feeling everyone should feel and too many never do. A feeling of perpetual hug from a child is the best feeling one can experience in a lifetime. It’s different from the love you feel for a mate, parents, family, and makes the more base and lustfilled emotions you feel that much more dirty because what you feel for your child is so much more pure.

God do I sound whipped… I guess I am, and it only took 5 lbs and 10 oz of baby to do it.