Kids and Vegetables
My sister-in-law called to tell me that my nephew had learned the time honored dinner tradition of slipping food that he didn’t like into his pockets and lying with a straight face to say he had finished. I laughed.
I remember my tricks at the dinner table. I hated vegetables but liked mashed potatoes so I’d eat my potatoes fast and always ask for seconds. My mother would say, “You’ll never finish those”, but gave them to me anyway. When no one was looking I’d hollow out the potatoes, deposit my veggies inside, and smooth over the top. Then I’d smile at my Mom and Dad and say, “You were right, I can’t finish.” They would let me be excused and I’d take my dirty dishes to the kitchen.
I got away with it for years until my grandmother nailed me. She was hip to all the tricks I’d pull.
To this day I can’t stand canned peas. When I was a kid they would make me gag. If I had no potatoes I’d slip them in my pockets. I thought I was being cool one day as I slid them, little by little, into my pockets. When I was done I asked to be excused. My parents said yes and as I got down from my chair my Grandmother said, “Wait, come here.”
I thought I’d humor the old girl because she always wanted hugs, so I went over and stood by her chair. She reached down and patted down my pockets like she was a former member of the L.A. Police Department. I could feel the wet squish of canned peas soaking into my trousers.
“Now you can leave, “ she said. I walked away from the table as the rest of my family followed me with their eyes in confusion as to what had just happened.
I can’t wait to do that to one of my kids.
