Monday, August 3rd, 2009
Just Desserts
Ever have food intolerance? There are many foods that make me ill. So many in fact that if I want to be completely healthy my diet would consist solely of meats and vegetables. I’m not supposed to eat wheat, dairy or processed sugar and there are numerous spices that are trigger foods for me. How boring a life is that? Especially since my favorite foods are Italian! Now when I say I get ill that’s after a prolonged period of eating badly. I can usually schedule one bad day a week.
But I’m a very weak man. I have zero will power. So if I start down the road of eating badly, I go all the way. If my wife has junk food in the house it’s usually hidden. And I always find it. This leads to numerous episodes of illness, many arguments and dozens of times that I say I’m sorry and swear that it will never happen again. Like I said, I’m a very weak man.
This leads into a story that happened a couple of weeks before last Christmas. My wife and the kids were holiday shopping a lot that week and our house was filled with presents, holiday food, and holiday treats. The treats were hidden and I was instructed to lay off. One day my wife went shopping with the baby, leaving me home with our four year old triplets and our dog Sunny. I was cleaning the kitchen and putting things away in the cupboard when my eyes spotted some brightly colored cellophane tucked away in the back.
I knew I had hit the jackpot. I pulled out a holiday wrapped bag of cookies and baked goods that my wife didn’t want me to find. I figured since I had been pretty good lately I could snag a few and no one would be the wiser. I went and poured myself a cold glass of milk and unwrapped the cookies, picked several of what I thought would be the tastiest, began dunking away and eating them. After two or three I casually looked down and found my son, Joseph, staring up at me with his mouth wide open in shock. I was caught mid dunk.
He looked at me, then looked at the cookies, then looked at the gift bag, then repeated the process several times before opening his mouth and saying, “Dad, don’t eat Sunny’s Christmas present! They’re for Sunny!”
I was eating the dog’s Christmas present that they picked up from Petco.
I stood for a second and thought about it…then finished the cookie. They were pretty good. And like I said, I’m a very weak man.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Bwahahahaha – just desserts indeed! Jolly well serves you right.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Yeah I know. But they were pretty good.