WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING?

OK, Halloween is over. I knew it was over even before it was over. The day before Halloween, at 8:30 PM I was in a Lowes hardware store. I walked through the door and was immediately visually assaulted by Christmas decorations everywhere. There wasn’t a Halloween decoration in sight. There were aisles and aisles of decorated fake Christmas trees, plastic Santa lawn garbage and animatronics. Christmas music was playing on the loudspeakers!

Next stop was “Target” for diapers. They weren’t as bad as Lowes but everything Halloween had a “75% off “ tag on it and the bargain shoppers were swarming the area like bees in a hive. Workers walked around with boxes of Christmas decorations to put up and boxes of Halloween decorations to put away.

Excuse me but what ever happened to Thanksgiving? I guess it just doesn’t bring in the cash the way Halloween and Christmas do. Personally I like Thanksgiving. It’s one of my favorite holidays. I didn’t like it when I was a kid but as I get older I appreciate it more and more. I’m not talking about the football games, though they are pretty good. I like the whole family thing. I like the low expectations that commerce has for the holiday. It’s still pretty pure and innocent. It’s still just an excuse for everyone to get together and take a moment to reflect. And if there ever was a time to sit back and reflect at what’s happening in the world, now is the time!

The food doesn’t hurt either.

The Thanksgiving dinner is in the top five of my all time favorite meals. Turkey with stuffing, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, specialty items you only see once a year! And all of it drowned in Turkey gravy! It doesn’t get any better than that. You eat and eat and eat until you reach that point of satisfaction; you’re full, you’re satiated. You know you should stop right there and everything will be OK. But you go over the top and have just one more serving. Then there is the after dinner bloating.

That period when you are so full you just stretch out on the couch or on the floor in front of the TV, loosen your belt a notch, lie on your back, and make deep throated groans and noises that you swore you only heard come from your grandfather. If there are a lot of men in the family you have a whole room full of guys bloated and on their backs all making the same unattractive noises. It’s a site that makes any heterosexual woman seriously think about becoming a lesbian.

Then the best part happens at exactly one minute after midnight. At 12:01 AM in the morning on the Friday after Thanksgiving, several radio stations on the FM band start playing nonstop Christmas music and don’t stop until midnight, Christmas Day.

Now that’s my idea of a holiday.