I’ve always been a really vivid dreamer. Sometimes I’d tell my dreams to people and they’d really freak or look at me very strange so instead I started to keep a journal. Every now and then I’ll post one. This is one from a while ago.
June 16, 1995
I had a series of three dreams all last night. Each one related in theme and after they all occurred I felt like there was some sort of resolution in my mind. Somehow things feel like they make sense. That’s the only way I can explain it. I felt and still do feel a great sense of relief.
I was part of a scene that was happening. I didn’t see myself, it was me seeing things through my eyes, my point of view. I was in a courtyard of some large group of buildings, stone and brick. The courtyard was cobblestone and I was among a group of people in a military formation. A sergeant was in front and he was screaming orders at us in German. I didn’t know what he was saying but in my dream I did because I was following the orders just like everyone else. The uniforms were field uniforms and they looked like uniforms from the turn of the century, probably WWI.
I could feel people bumping into me, hear them mumbling around me, I could smell things, I really felt like I was there.
I woke, sat straight up, breathing hard and covered in sweat. After a few minutes I calmed down and eventually went back to sleep.
It was the same theme only this time I was part of a large column of soldiers marching down a dirt road somewhere out in the country. In front of me as far as I could see were soldiers marching in a column. I didn’t look behind because I was not supposed to. I could feel the gear bouncing against my body, my butt. I could feel the straps digging in under my armpits. I could feel the weight of a rifle against my shoulder. The worst part was the dust that was kicked up by the marching. It was choking and thick.
I woke up again, sat straight up breathing hard and sweating. After I calmed down I went back to sleep.
I wasn’t in formation any more. I was running through woods. There were soldiers all around me running too. It was total chaos. I could hear the pop, pop, pop, of rifle fire and the sound of machine guns. Around me the leaves on the trees got hit and blown off their branches as bullets whizzed silently past us. Bark was shattering on tree trunks and I was scared to death.
The forest opened up overlooking a large hillside and I could see down a rolling slope all the men running out in the open for a far away stone wall that rode the contour of the landscape. Far in the distance, across the fields was another forest and out of it poured soldiers that were the enemy. I ran as fast as I could and felt everything, the pounding in my chest, the sweat and fear. Around me people fell as they were hit or just tripped and got back to their feet.
I made it to the wall and, along with the others crawled along it. We were like a column of ants moving along the baseboard of a wall in a house. Eventually we stopped. I checked my weapon and stuck my head up to see and fire.
Suddenly I felt a tremendous jerk backward and everything was black. I felt no pain. I felt nothing.
I woke up again, sat straight up breathing hard and sweating. It was over. I wasn’t afraid. I knew somehow that that was it. It was strange but I felt a sense of relief.
I had this strange thought of, “So That’s Why!” about myself.
I don’t know what it means but I feel a strange sense of closure.