Another Rant About Time

I swear to God! Someone or something is messing with the Space Time Continuum! I wrote my last post on October 6th, blinked and it’s now the 26th! WTF! I was just getting my kids hyped up for Halloween and BAM! it’s already here.  After Sunday we are now facing the trifecta of major holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Where is the time going?

This subject is becoming a major mind screw for me.  I know there are a lot of theories about why time seems to go faster. The number one being that as you age, you acquire more responsibilities, you have kids, blah, blah, blah… I was at a dinner last Sunday with my in-laws and I talked about it with Grampa Bill. He said the last twenty years just went by in a blink. I pointed out that, based on the previously mentioned theory, his time should have slowed because he really didn’t have any of the major factors mentioned. Yet, he still said that they were the fastest of all the years he lived.  I had the same conversation with a couple of other old guys and they said the same damn thing.

WHY!? Why is it that time is accelerating so fast? Someone PLEASE tell me cuz I’m going NUTS about it. Is it just simple Mathematics? When you’re 5 years old one year is 1/5th of your life so a year will obviously feel longer than when your 80 years old and one year is 1/80th of your life.

One contradiction to this mathematical explanation is the theory of the Slowing of Time when you let an old person tell a story, explain something to you, drive behind them, let them tell you about their failing health or ask directions. No, wait, it supports the theory because if they are caught inside some bubble and time is racing faster PAST them, then, to them their rambling is at normal speed. WE, not being in their bubble, see it as slow…

I think this growing madness is a direct result of all the illegal drugs I consumed in my youth. Maybe I can find the answer on Late Night Radio. George Noory on Coast to Coast AM should have the answer.