Tag Archive: Mommy Daddy

Nov 27

HOW I ENDED UP IN RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA

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Life

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Riverside California isn’t a place you aspire to live, it’s a place you end up.  That’s what happened to me over twenty years ago.

I never woke up thinking to myself, “You know!  Today I’m gonna move to Riverside, California!”

No one in their right mind would think that.  I only came to Riverside because I needed a break from Hollywood, and my brother suggested I come for a visit and see his family.  I didn’t have any gigs lined up, my music career was taking a nose dive at the time, and I knew I’d have fun and be very well fed.  So I packed up my Toyota Tercel for a weekend visit and took off.

If you look at a map of Southern California and draw a line from LA to Palm Springs, Riverside is exactly halfway between the two.  If the map has any color to it, the green that represented the beautiful California coastline would suddenly turn brown because you drive into a desert.  The name Riverside is a misnomer.  Actually it’s an outright lie!

Once there was a river and a thriving agricultural community that was the envy of the nation.  Riverside was one of the richest places to live in the whole country.  What happened was Los Angeles.  They greedily sucked up all the water,  diverting it for their use.

I drove up the 91 on a hot summer day with no air conditioning  so I got to appreciate the 110 degree heat blasting me through open windows.  My brother was a welder at the time and had just started a new family.  Money was tight for them so they lived in a trailer park up in the foothills just outside of Riverside.

I got off the freeway and drove up Cajolco, a two lane road that wound like a huge dead snake flung across a landscape of dusty hills.  As I drove it amazed me that patches of green property appeared with actual grass and beautiful plants then abruptly at the property line, everything would turn crispy brown and dead again.   That happened regularly as I drove down the road;  a classic example of how mankind did daily battle to establish a foothold in that God forsaken environment.  If the water that Riverside pumped in was ever  turned off everything would be dead in a week and tumbleweeds would roll down Main Street and up to the doors of city hall.

About five miles short of my brother’s place my car made a noise, quit working and rolled to a stop on the side of the road.  Smoke started to waft up from the engine.  I jumped out, lifted the hood and used an old shirt from my backseat to beat down a small engine fire.  That was it.  God was pointing a finger at me saying that my life needed to change.   I had no money to fix the car.

I walked the rest of the way to my brothers and spent the night on his couch.  The next morning he drove me to where I left the car.

It had been stripped.


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May 21

LITTLE LEAGUE

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Life, My Kids

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Little LeagueLittle League is over. Thank God! Having one kid in Little League is enough of a time suck by itself. Having four kids in it is ridiculous.

My triplets graduated to Farm League and were all put on the same team so that they could play together. At first the coach thought this was a good thing because they would work well together as a team, which they did. It became a bad thing when, because of family events, we had to pull them from a couple of games.  All of a sudden he was three players short and had to forfeit a couple of games.

Farm League is also when the playing gets a lot more serious. It’s no longer, “It’s just a game!”, or “The kids should just have fun!”.

Now the coaches and the parents get in the kid’s faces with, “You should’ve got that one!”

Coaches are also stacking their teams. There was one team this year, the Dodgers, that I swear had kids who were shaving and they were put in the 7 to 9 year old category. Those kids were hitting the ball out of the park.

The good times are there too. The thrills of hitting a double, tagging someone out, or scoring a run are very real now.  The innocence  is gone though.

But, we still had Tee Ball.

When we told Matthew he was old enough to play baseball he jumped up and down and yelled, “I’m not a mascot now, I’m a player!”

For the past two years we told him he was the team mascot so that he could feel involved. When the kids were on the Pirates he would come to the games dressed in his little Halloween pirate outfit and yell “AAARRRGGHH” a lot during the game.

Now he’s a Yankee. This made him the villain for a short period of time because the triplets were on the Mets. There were a couple of early arguments in the house on who was the bad guy until I told them all that the best team was really the Chicago Cubs. My wife and I are from the Midwest.

Tee Ball is a trip. If you’ve ever watched a Tee Ball game it’s like herding cats. Sometimes the batter runs to third instead of first. An excited fielder jumping up and down might not be a motivated player. He might  have to go potty and will simply run off of the field if nature calls. Throwing the ball usually involves some kind of floppy hand gesture that gets it about three feet. After multiple attempts the player just picks up the ball and walks it to where he wants it to go.

The funniest experience was when Matthew put on his athletic protector for the first time. He stood proudly in a Superman stance and yelled, “Go ahead! Hit me in the penis! It doesn’t hurt!”

During the games, when he was bored in the outfield he was seen by everyone smacking his fist into his cup, just pounding away.

Tee Ball has no losers, every game is a tie. Boy , if life was that simple…

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May 16

THE ICE CREAM DATE

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Life, My Kids

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Ice Cream DateTHE ICE CREAM DATE

A little while back my boy Matthew turned five.  For his birthday I told him he could have a birthday party or a family day trip to Lego Land in San Diego.

“I want both!”, he replied.

“No”, I said. “You have to pick one or the other.”

“Can Reagan come to Lego Land?”

“No.”

“But I wanted Reagan to come to my birthday party”, he said sadly. I knew he was going to pick Lego Land.

Reagan is the little girl who lives across the street. He really cares about her and Matthew lights up every time she walks in the room.  He’s known her since he was born. They go to the same pre-school. They even have a pinky promise that someday they will get married and move to Hawaii.

When I saw how sad he was at the prospect of not celebrating his birthday with her I got an idea.

“You can go to Lego Land and you can pick a day to ask Reagan to go with you to get some ice cream.”

“Huh?”, he replied.

” I’ll take you and Reagan out to get ice cream.”

His face lit up. “Just me and Reagan?!”

“Yup.”

“Coooooooooooooooool!” He ran out of the kitchen and went off to tell everyone else in the house.

The next day at pre-school,  Matthew entered the classroom and walked straight up to Reagan.

“Reagan”, he said excitedly. “Will you go with me to get some ice cream?”

She looked at Matthew and then up at me with a confused expression.  I explained to her that he couldn’t have a birthday party and told her how sad he was that she wouldn’t be part of it.

She smiled from ear to ear, “REALLY!?”, she asked looking back at Matthew.

Matthew was beaming and his head bobbed up and down yes about a thousand times in a few seconds.

“OH YES!”, she cried out while giving him a big bear hug, “I WILL GO FOR ICE CREAM WITH YOU! I WILL, I WILL, I WILL!”

That night I bumped into Reagan’s dad, Brad, outside his house.  He came over and we talked.

“What’s this I hear about Reagan going out for ice cream? That’s all she’s talked about since I picked her up from pre-school today.”

I explained everything and he just smiled and shook his head. His wife had the same reaction. When the day for the ice cream date finally arrived, I picked up Matthew at 12:30 and took him home. Reagan stays at school till 4. That’s when her dad gets off of work.

When Matthew got home he ran straight upstairs. He came down about 15 minutes later dressed in his Sunday clothes and his hair was wet and slicked down.  He never got dressed that fast in his life! Matthew looked like a handsome little gentleman.

“Whoa! Slow down sport,” I said. “Reagan is still at school for a while.”

He was upset and very frustrated.  The hours passed slowly as he repeatedly went to the window and peered out to see if Reagan’s car had pulled into their driveway. When it finally did he exploded with energy and dogged me until I finally had my shoes and jacket on and was ready to go.

We walked across the street . I let him go to the door. Her mom answered with Reagan at her side. Reagan was wearing a bow in her hair. I talked to her mom for a minute and then we were off.

We were the only ones in the ice cream shop. When I explained to the two female employees behind the counter what was up they both looked at each other and said, “aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!”

The two picked out what they wanted, I seated them at a small table, then I picked a corner of the parlor and just watched, along with the ice cream parlor ladies.  Matthew and Reagan ate their ice cream and stared into each other’s faces, talking about who knows what, just like any other couple, about whatever couples talk about over an ice cream. They were in their own world.  I kept trying to imagine these kids at 16. What would they be like? Then I gave up and just watched them as they were. It was too cute.

It lasted only 20 minutes. They ate all that they could. I had the leftovers boxed up to take home and we left.

When we got to Reagan’s front door Matthew said to her, “I had a wonderful time.”

“Thank-you for the ice cream Matthew”, she replied  and hugged him good-bye.

Matthew was quiet for the rest of the evening, in his own universe, probably reliving his date. Shannon, my wife, was eager for the details.

After I told her everything her expression turned to shock.

She  yelled at me, “YOU DIDN’T GET PICTURES?!”

 

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Nov 23

My Kids Are Growing Up So Fast

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Life, My Kids

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My Kids Are Growing Up So Fast

It’s almost that time.  My last child is getting too old for naps and that special time I had with him, snuggling up in the afternoon is finally going to be gone.  My favorite part of parenting has always been that feeling of a child curling up on my chest or snuggling next to me and then going to sleep.  I don’t know how else to explain it except that it feels  like a perpetual hug.  At the risk of losing my “Man” card, I wish they could stay little for a lot longer.

My kids are growing so fast. The triplets will be seven in January.

Rose is already wearing some of my wife’s old clothes. She wears Shannon’s t-shirts as jammies and some of her old blouses with a belt or something around the waist. She’s starting to look long and beautiful, a real little lady.

Joseph is no longer the Thomas the Tank Engine loving kid he used to be. Now  he’s all about jet airplanes and robotics. I build electronic circuit projects with him and he actually understands what’s going on.

Michael is our little book worm. He reads very well and takes after his mother as far as smarts go. He will be the brainiac of the three.

All of this is cool. It’s amazing to watch them grow and mature. When I first saw it happening in them I comforted myself with, “Well, I still have Matthew for a while longer.”

Now that’s going away too.

He wants to be like his older siblings so badly that he tries to do everything they do. Sometimes he succeeds but mostly it just ends in frustration.  It’s very cute to watch, we comfort him and it all works out. He throws the most tantrums but I understand where it comes from.  And I see in his eyes the understanding he is acquiring about everything around him and he doesn’t want to be little anymore. At four and a half he’s done with baby toys, tricycles, training wheels and will start t-ball sooner than I can imagine.

Regularly, someone I’m talking to will say, “Hey, pretty soon your  littlest one will be going off to Kindergarten and you’ll have all of them in school full time. Wow, you’ll enjoy that!”

I just wish they’d shut up.

 

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Sep 06

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?

Categories:

Art and Music, Dance

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So You Think You Can Dance?

I don’t know if I’ve told this before but I’m very interested in the arts. I like them all, fine art, music, dance, literature, all of them.  When we first had children my wife and I had a strong desire to expose the kids to as much of the arts as possible. And, early on, we noticed that they always liked dance. What toddler doesn’t like to dance. So, when they were five, we signed the triplets up for ballet classes at Riverside Ballet Arts.

For all of the jokes I make about living in Riverside California, the one shocker is that it has an extremely good ballet school. It’s nationally recognized and many of their students go on to very successful careers in dance.

Joseph and Michael immediately got attention because, well, they’re boys. You don’t get a lot of boys in the ballet classes. The ratio is about 20:1. There are many reasons for this, the main one is that ballet is still considered pretty much a female thing to do. When they have productions it’s pretty much a slam dunk that if you are a boy you will get a part.

Last year, when they were just starting “the Nutcracker” for their 2010 Christmas season, I was standing around holding my 3 year old, Matthew. He had just finished a toddler dance class when the director passed by on his way into rehearsal.

He looked at me and said, “We are going to start now, bring him in. ”

“He isn’t in the show,” I said.

“What?!” was the reply.

Another teacher, Miss Alex,  came quickly forward and said, “He’s in the toddler class, he’s just three years old.”

The director looked at her, then me, then Matthew and after a moment said, “But he’s too cute! No, no, no, bring him in.”

And that’s how Matthew started his first ballet production.  Like I said, it’s a lot easier for boys.

Now Rose likes ballet. She likes to watch the DVDs we have and watches the whole spectacle in awe. But, she’s also shy, a perfectionist and a girl. When she does anything, she wants it to be perfect. If it isn’t  she gets upset. There are a lot of girls at the school and many started before she did so they are much better than her.  She’s still too young to understand that in time she can catch up.

Last year she didn’t even audition for “The Nutcracker” because she was scared,  intimidated by the whole process and there were so many girls she was sure she wouldn’t make it. Then, she broke her collar bone and that was that.  This year, as the auditions approached, her anxiety level increased to the point where she insisted that she no longer liked ballet and wanted to quit.

I knew she was scared and I also didn’t want to be one of those parents that lives vicariously through their children. I just wanted her to give it a fair shot and not give up without really knowing what she was capable of. So I told her that if she tried out for the show and didn’t make it she could drop ballet. If she did make it, then after the show was done, if she still wanted to, she could drop ballet. If she liked it, she could stay in.

So, the auditions came and went, days passed and then we finally got four letters in the mail from the production. I had all four kids sit on the living room couch to hear the letters. I asked Rose if she wanted her letter read first.

“I want mine read last”, she said.

I opened Matthew’s and read, “Dear student, we are very proud to tell you that you have been accepted into this year’s blah, blah, etc…”

Matthew was in, then came Joseph, then Michael. They all made it. They were very happy. Rose was looking around the room trying not look interested but every time a letter was read and it came to the part where they were accepted or not, she looked out of the corner of her eye with interest. Then it was her turn.

I told her to sit up straight and look at me. I told her I wanted her to pay attention. So she sat and waited. I opened the envelop and read, “Dear student, we are very proud to tell you that you have been accepted into this year’s blah, blah, etc…”

Her jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out! The boys all smiled and looked kind of surprised. Then I noticed that her eyes were starting to water up.

“What’s the matter?”, I asked.

“I don’t know!”

“Aren’t you happy?”

She vigorously shook her head yes.

“Then why are you upset?”

“I didn’t think I would get picked. I didn’t think I was as good as the other girls!”

I got close to her, looked her in the eyes and said, “I don’t want to hear you say that ever again, because  right now, there are a lot of girls reading their letters and they didn’t make it.”

Then her look changed from shock to one of WOW! And I knew, then and there, that she really understood what I had just said.

The next day she had ballet class and I peaked in the classroom to see her totally engrossed in what her teacher was saying, standing beautifully erect and all smiles.

I don’t know if she’ll still do ballet after the show is over, but I do know that she knows she can do it.

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